Advice on Relationships

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Author:
Alina Ruigrok - www.love-sessions.com

Do you often find that you involve yourself in relationships that disappoint you? Are you not getting what you need and desire from the people you choose to date? Does there always seem to be something missing? If you answered yes to one or all of those questions, you could very well be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships, setting yourself up for failure without even knowing it. There are ways you can determine whether you are addicted or not, and ways you can break the addiction and start getting what you have always wanted from a relationship.

Before we cover the symptoms of addiction, it is important that we cover the dangers of staying in a bad relationship. Since bad relationships lack what one or both partners’ need, stress becomes a regular part of your life, as well a gradual lowering of your self-esteem, which will make you unable to focus on your career and personal life with the concentration and care needed, in order for you to be happy. The constant stress will produce chemical changes in your body that drain your energy and make you more eligible for physical illnesses. Physical abuse in a relationship is obvious to cause a lot of physical harm, along with great psychological damage, but in spite of these facts, many people still choose to proceed with such relationships, finding themselves trapped and incapable of leaving. They find themselves depressed, on a search for some relief and unfortunately becoming depressed and possibly turning to drugs and alcohol.

So what are the symptoms of this addiction? Ignoring the truth would be one. If you truly know that the relationship you are in is making you unhappy but make no effort to exit from it, then you are in denial and are holding yourself hostage in a situation you do not have to be in. Making excuses for your partner’s disappointing and bad behavior will keep you trapped and is another huge symptom of bad relationship addiction, especially if the excuses you produce do not back up the facts and are unrealistic. If you do finally build up the courage to confront your partner to leave him or her but are overcome with fear and therefore back off from the confrontation, you are a high and sure victim of addiction because no matter what you attempt, you find yourself always giving in and holding on to what you know is bad for you. Suffering from both physical and mental discomfort once broken up, unless you get back together, is yet another symptom of addiction and should not be denied or ignored.

What causes addiction to bad relationships? There are several levels and everyone’s addiction is different and varies. One common reason is the feeling and belief that if you end the relationship, you will never find anyone else who could possibly be interested in you or love you. You grow so attached to your partner that you forgot your life before him or her, making you feel fearful of being on your own and taking care of yourself. Fear of criticism is another reason many people remain in bad relationships. They are afraid of what people will say, believing that ending a relationship means that they are a failure and being alone is unacceptable and terrifying. Other reasons may be financial support that you are receiving from a partner, making you feel that you should tolerate bad behavior from your lover, since they are supporting you. Having a child together can also blind you or cause you to deny a bad relationship, making you feel guilty for leaving your child’s mother or father. On a deeper level, you could be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships due to your upbringing or experiences as a child yourself. Perhaps you were not nurtured or loved enough and you now think it is normal to be neglected from love, care and understanding.

What should you do and how can you break a bad relationship addiction? Since this addiction is difficult and basically impossible for you to end on your own, counseling would be the best assistance for you. Find a counselor or service in which experts provide their services through, and take that first step in accepting the fact that you have an addiction and that you need and want help to conquer it. Start being a best friend to yourself and open the door to all the feelings you have kept locked up for so long. Stay focused and encourage yourself frequently by setting a goal, and picturing yourself away from all the disappointment and closer to all the happiness and good health you need, desire and deserve as a person. Never give up and know that you are not alone. There are people who can help you, know how to help and will help you. Mainly, keep in mind that there will always be a person who will be by your side and never leave you, always giving you the strength, love and support you need…and that person is YOU.

Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for http://www.love-sessions.com helping those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital, sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions.

About the Author
Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for http://www.love-sessions.com helping those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital, sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions.

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