Advice on Relationships

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Author:
Alan Detwiler


You can improve how good your relationship is. A few basic guidelines will make your relationship more enjoyable and beneficial for both of you.

A romantic relationship has many benefits: companionship, being inspired by someone else's example, and stimulation by the other person's ideas. Keep in mind that those benefits are there and that they are important.

Don't use a relationship as a way to solve your problems. Dating and marriage are not ways to overcome unhappiness, escape from boredom, and improve self-image. You must do those things for yourself. Using a relationship for those reasons puts burdens on the relationship that make it less pleasant and less rewarding.

Your gotta be tolerant. A relationship is a place for honesty and openness. Those principles allow a couple to share ideas and to gradually change in ways that let them more enjoy living. Your attitude should signal the other person that you will try to patiently work through each other's shortcomings. If that's too much strain, decide that separation is best and graciouly part company without bitterness.

Romance and love will more likely happen if you allow them to happen instead of making them a goal. Making the relationship better should be the goal. Pay attention to treating each other fairly and helping each other. If love happens, it will be based on believing that both of you can continue to build a good relationship.

Don't expect a perfect relationship. That happens only in fairy tales. If you expect too much, it makes your relationship less valuable by comparison. Problems will occur. You will get hurt. Don't be so concerned with minor problems that you loose awareness of what is good in the relationship. When appropriate, offer advice not the threat of disapproval. You want to develop a spirit of mutual benefit.

Respect each other's attitude about physical affection. Be patient. Your partner is not a mind reader and may not be aware of the problem. If something about the physical part of the relationship is a big issue for you, let your concerns be known. Being aware of a problem is the first step in solving a problem. Anxiety about a problem can be lessened just by knowing that the other person is aware of the problem.

Take time for mutual interests. This can be in many forms including hobbies, conversation, recreation, an interest in art, and family activities. Mutual interests keep a couple from gradually becoming uninvolved in each other's lives.

Encourage your partner to act and make decisions. Both of you will be able to accomplish more with the other's support and encouragement. When there is a disagreement, don't automatically think it is necessary to correct the other person. Your encouragement will produce more good results than will your objections.


Alan Detwiler is the author of the ebook Date Ideas: Fun Things To Do For Couples available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0002WYFFC/ He has a web site with a section about fun things to do for couples at http://www.leisureideas.com/date ideas.htm.

A Quick Note From The Publisher... If you like the article above, you may be interested in the following article which is also related to Improve Relationships... Getting Over A Simple Ways For An Effective Relationship Rescue Most couples experience a stormy weather in their relationship at one point or another in their lives. This is very natural because there are a lot of factors that can create conflicts between couples and at times, nobody wants to give way. This is where most of the relationship problems start, when both partners do not recognize their faults and shortcomings and both are trying to point out that they are right and it is always the other who is wrong. However, conflicts should never be reason enough to end a relationship. There are still simple ways that can be done in order to achieve a successful relationship rescue. Communicate with your partner Communication is one of the most effective keys to complete a relationship rescue plan. This should always be included in the list as more and more couples these days broke up without even acknowledging the real reason why things did not turn out the way they expected them to be for their relationship. So when things are getting somewhat out of hand, partners should talk things over and voice out their sides and open up their grudges before everything is too late. Through communication, both will have a clear picture of what is going on, why the conflict is happening, and what relationship rescue methods can be done to surpass this period. Know when to keep quiet Although silence could not be the best solution for an effective relationship rescue, but it does contribute a lot so as the problem will not aggravate. Most often, when couples are having conflicts, they tend to talk too much, thus, they neglect one of the most important parts of a relationship and that is listening. Partners should know when to keep quiet during a heated argument. It is not a good idea to raise voices, shout at each other, and...