Advice on Relationships

Poll

	|   |

Author:
Terje Ellingsen

Dating and establishing love relationships can be compared to choosing a vehicle. You pick out the make, model, year, color and features that you believe are best for you. After driving your vehicle for a couple of months, you realize that perhaps you should have purchased a larger car, or that maybe the leather seats would have been better, or on hot sunny days, the sunroof would have been nice. However, it is now too late so you choose to keep your car and accept the decision you made. It is the same for a marriage or couple relationship. Not everything will be perfect and there will be major obstacles to overcome but you have made your decision and now you choose to make it work no matter which marriage troubles you are experiencing.

Dating and marriage is different than it was thirty years ago. Today, more than 50% of all marriages fail for one reason or another. Just thinking about that makes “commitments” and marriage vows seem scary. It seems that when relationships are faced with challenges, people quit trying. Dating is more like a marathon, trying to date as many people as possible, instead of taking time to get to know someone on a deeper level. For married couples, divorce is not biased. Whether married for thirty years or eight months, the outcome can be the same.

The fact is that relationships, whether dating or married, are hard. Things do not always go perfectly, fighting does occur, and it takes a 100% commitment from both parties to make it a success. Often when people break off a relationship, they feel as though something is missing. The “spark” has gone, leaving one or both people feeling inadequate and unfulfilled.

However, even though the odds are not very good, it has been proven by many people that healthy and long-lasting relationships are definitely possible. Look at Paul Newman and Joanne Woodard, Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman, or Nancy and Ronald Regan. What secrets do and did they possess? The answer is: work hard at the relationship. They made a decision of choosing to love their mate rather than relying on the “warm and fuzzy” feelings, which everyone knows will fade. By making love a choice, you are making a decision that even in the bad times, you stick it out.

There are hundreds of things you can do to build, strengthen, and enhance your relationship. You can find lots of relationship self help resources online. Remember, little steps taken every day will add up to big successes.

About the Author : Terje Brooks Ellingsen is a writer and Sociologist who runs http://www.1st-self-improvement.net/. He writes about self improvement issues like self esteem development, see http://www.1st-self-improvement.net/self_esteem_improvement.htm and relationship building issues, see http://www.1st-self-improvement.net/building_positive_relationships.htm Source: www.isnare.com

A Quick Note From The Publisher... If you like the article above, you may be interested in the following article which is also related to Improve Relationships... Loving Words Heal Relationships The most powerful two phrases that heal a damaged relationship are also the two phrases that are hardest to say… “I’m Sorry” and “I was wrong”…This is essential in healing relationships for couples especially on how to save a marriage. The reason why these phrases are hardest to say is because we do not want to admit that we have caused anything that broke or hurt a relationship. Most of the time we say that it was the other person’s fault. And we wait for him or her to be the first to apologize. However, the apology never comes because the other person is also waiting for it. And we know that relationships within the family and outside of it sometimes end because of the lack of this apology. In Christian marriage counseling, we know many break-ups occur simply because one or the other never took the step to apologize. Why is it so hard to admit that we were wrong and to apologize? Its simple… that’s human nature, a weakness which puts us above the others. What we need is to overcome this devotion to self. This requires personal growth, empathy and caring for the other. These are what we need in healing relationships for couples. And a simple apology will restore that broken relationship. It does not matter who did wrong when a relationship is broken. Its important that we take the first step. Keep in mind that the other person feels the same way. We should say something that can lead to healing such as “I’m truly sorry that we are having this problem. Can we talk about making things right again?” Taking a step like this almost always leads to healing a broken relationship. And most of the time, the conversation results in both parties apologizing and this usually results to a stronger relationship. Any kind of healing in relationship for couples obviously...